Check On Your Kids

When your child is going out with friends, do you check on where they are going?  Who will they be with, and for how long?  If their plans change over time, have you discussed how you wish them to let you know? These are essential assets that help build kids’ self-esteem and resilience in life.  Believe it or not, kids like to have adults who care for them and check on their healthy being.  They will be grateful for a plan to get out of a bad situation without parents losing their cool.

If your child is going out with others, it is best to have met them at some time.  Let your kids know that you expect to meet their friends, and if they are planning something with a friend that you haven’t met, they need to invite them to the house to talk with them and determine if they are a good influence.  It is extra work, and it does seem like your intervening in their lives, but it ensures, at least as much as you can, that you have done your job as a parent in monitoring your kids.  It is simple: if we know someone is checking on us, we will behave accordingly, but if there isn’t, we can easily slip to the lowest level without trying.  Take time to check on who, where, when, and how long with your kids.  Make sure that if plans change, you wish to be notified in advance, not after the fact.  With cell phones and texting, this is easier than ever.  There are even apps that help parents to communicate with their kids in this area.

Checking on your kids is good parenting, not snooping, not showing a lack of trust, but simply good parenting.  Helping kids to understand why you want to check on them and why you are concerned who they are with, just helps the whole process run more smoothly.  It can be tiring, upsetting, and hard work to continually keep abreast of their doings, but saving them from one bad situation makes it all worth it.  The stories that I could tell you from parents who wish they would have taken this extra step.

Closely related to Check On Your Kids, is Creating Relationships with Kids at Creating Relationships with Kids – III – Dr. Rich Patterson ( and Creating Relationships with Kids – II – Dr. Rich Patterson (

Here is a post that gives some ideas about Checking On Your Kids 3 ways to check-in with the kids and start the school year off right – Living the Sweet Wife (

Yours for Better Parenting,