Overcoming Difficulties with Kids
It was a difficult decision; I had an opportunity for a new position in another state, but our son was a Junior in high school, and I knew that moving for him would be difficult. My wife and I sat down and discussed it with him to find some ways to beat the deficits. After some creative thinking, we made a few decisions that also apply to kids in disadvantaged situations. How could we retain the assets that we had built with him and even add additional ones? Here are a few ideas.
Our first idea was to get him involved in various activities that he was interested in right away. It turned out he was interested in martial arts. Getting kids involved in activities helps them to make new friends and to associate with other good kids. These activities are adult-led activities like music, sports, martial arts, volunteer work, and so many others.
The second idea is to ensure that there are rules and boundaries to follow and enforce. When kids have too much freedom, contrary to what you may think, they begin to feel that their parents don’t care. Parents can become overwhelmed with jobs, making a living, and just trying to keep things going. When that happens, they forget to extend themselves to their kids and continue supporting and nurturing them. Establishing boundaries and following them is a way of showing that you care.
A third idea includes the thought of caring for others despite our current situation. It is easy to get jaded or cynical about others and their success. Sometimes, they begin to use negative terms about others like, ” Oh, they’re rich, ” or look at them; they must be excellent. I suggest parents watch their statements of others and make sure that when they say something, it is positive and supportive of others. Showing a caring attitude for others who are also disadvantaged, despite your current circumstances, helps kids develop an approach of positive support for others. It takes the edge off of their situation and instead extends a helping hand to others.
I want to challenge parents to reach out to disadvantaged kids, or if you are having a difficult time, either way, try some of these ideas to make a difference for kids when faced with these deficits. We can make a big difference just with our attitude, language, and gestures towards others.
For a great resource that helps define what is right, please see Doing Things Right Vs. Doing the Right Things | HealthGuidance.org
I also have a blog entry that speaks to overcoming difficulties in another way, Difficulties Have an Expiration Date – Dr. Rich Patterson (pattersonphd.com)
Yours for Better Parenting,