It’s in the People

Parenting our kids requires constant calibration.  I mean, it seems like we’re constantly adjusting, catching, cautioning, checking, reassuring, helping, pushing; the list is endless.  In the blog on 08/13/18, I wrote about Focusing on the Good Energy around you rather than your surroundings.  We talked a bit about simply “changing the channel.”  Today I want to further our thoughts on this.  Why can some people keep themselves up and others have such a struggle?

Many of our kids are struggling to keep themselves going.  It is a hard reality when we look at the suicide statistics and other violence happening to our youth.

It is too easy to say, well, they grew up in this situation, her parents have money, or she didn’t live where I live, or have the condition that I have.  We know many long, sad, and difficult tales to tell about who has done it despite their circumstances.  They are successful, happy, and optimistic despite some crazy difficult situations. But how do they do that?  Here’s what I know:  The Difference is in the People, not the picture.

You see, we so quickly jump to the image, blaming our parents or sibling, our addiction, our situation, or lot in life, when in reality, the difference is in the person.  You can see life as a bit of a marathon or see it as an opportunity to experience your journey.

Whether we’re parents or kids, life requires this calibration of pushing ourselves to be that person that we know is there on the inside.  How great would it be if you were to make yourself to be your ideal, despite current difficult circumstances?  I mean, what if you were talking with someone, and they were exclaiming about how fun it was to be around you, like the lady on the phone to me, and then she discovered a circumstance that would seem to dictate otherwise.  It was then that displaying my personal best became even more of a surprise to her.

It is our choice.  Please help your child design that ideal person, attitude, clothing, car, job, family or not, down to the most incredible detail.  Please encourage them to add more elements every day and to look for opportunities to be that person right now.  Right now, in the way they act, in the way they talk, the people they choose to associate with–or not.  It’s in the people, not in the circumstances, that the difference between “poor me” and “look at me” attitude lies.  Do it despite your circumstances, despite your situation.

Speaking of choice, here is a series that I have written to help parents with School Choice for their kids, Parenting on Purpose: Charter Schools & Questions, Pt. 1 – Dr. Rich Patterson (

the Huffington Post write about 7 Key Behaviors here that is perfectly in alignment with this line of thinking, 7 Key Behaviors of People Who Make a Positive Difference In the World | HuffPost Communities

I hope this is helpful to you.


Yours for better parenting,