Dr. Rich Patterson


Send The Message Once

Often when we have a problem or a difficult circumstance, we may turn to friends, faith, or a significant other and ask for help.  Exercising belief is essential to teach our kids, and ourselves, to send a message once.  It shows a lack of faith in the person asked if we continually send the same message.  As a person of faith, I have asked in prayer multiple times for something to happen.  Sometimes it will happen, and other times not.  Believing in your request, seeing it honored, and being fulfilled is the next step, not asking once again.  We can get caught up in this so quickly.

If you send a letter, text, or email, you don’t send it more than once.  If you did, the person would think you were badgering them.  In working with kids, they must understand this.  Teach them that a reasonable request needs to be honored. You teach them that they should not need more than one request to do something.  The same things they may want, they ask once, and as a parent, you let them know that you hear them, but that maybe it just isn’t going to happen right now.  It might be a financial decision, scheduling, timing, etc.

But then take it to the next step, teach them to believe in their requests.  Understanding it once doesn’t mean you don’t think about it again.  Mentally you can continue to paint the picture you are requesting.  It is something that you add to over and over.

Consider Tami, who wanted to prom her senior year with a particular type of guy.  Mind you; she didn’t know this guy; she visualized him.  Over time, she continued to add to his persona in her mind.  At first, it was blonde hair, then his build, the clothes he would wear, then the type of car, and over time she continued to believe that he would appear as she had asked.  One day, she was shopping for some shoes to wear to prom (no date yet).  She went into a store to look at some boots, and she heard a voice say, “Can I help you?”

Without looking up, she told him the shoes she wanted to try on.  When she looked up, here was her visualization (the guy) right in front of her.  From there, things unfolded, and she went to prom with him.

How can we teach our kids and ourselves to ask once and then to believe so sincerely that it simply happens?  Try this out for yourself with something simple, and let me know how it works.

An excellent example of this from the parent side is Setting Rules & Enforcing Them, read here, Setting Rules & Enforcing Them – Dr. Rich Patterson (

Raising Children in Australia has a post about Requests and Instructions that will follow up nicely with this post, Requests, instructions & cooperative kids | Raising Children Network