I have been writing about having serious conversations with your young person frequently. It is equally important that kids have three or more adults to go to for help and have serious discussions with them. Having serious conversations with those that the family knows, likes, and trusts allows your child to ask some of their private questions. It gives them a chance to express themselves through their lens of understanding without fear of criticism or advice lectures.
When kids have someone to whom they can go and have a serious conversation, it lifts their spirits. It helps them to develop their understanding, to be more tolerant and forthcoming with their personality. As a young person, I delivered newspapers after school, which was the norm in those days. I had a customer who asked me to mow his lawn, which I eagerly accepted to make some extra money. After I completed the job, he would have me come in and sit with him at the kitchen table. He would get me a glass of tea, and we would talk. It didn’t take long before I felt very comfortable sharing with him some of my concerns. He was a great help to me in helping me to gain a better understanding of our family, life, and goal setting. My parents knew the family, and they went to our church, so a relationship of trust existed there. I found it most helpful to take some time to talk with him. After I graduated from college and began my profession in education, I continued to write and share with him. We would exchange phone calls and write letters. There was a fond exchange of helpfulness and advice. It gave both of us the to share our stories and apply them to life. It was strengthening and added resilience to my life and, hopefully, to his as well.
I want to encourage parents to help their child have three or more adults with whom they could have such a conversation and develop trust and a safe environment. Having such a stable relationship can help your young person develop their ideas about life in a healthy way. It will help them to persevere during a time of confusion and difficulty, like many adolescents experience.
For more information about How to Tal to Kids About Difficult Conversations, see How to Talk to Kids About Difficult Subjects | Common Sense Media
Understanding the Role of Families and Teens helps facilitate conversations as well. Please see The Role of Families and Teens — THE KIDS SUCCESS
I believe that a key ingredient in families should be Love, please see my posting here What Kids Need: A Family with Love – Dr. Rich Patterson (pattersonphd.com)
Yours for Better Parenting,