Standing Firm

When we start to do something with great, pure intentions, rest assured that life will try to block us in many ways.  After working on a thought process and having some real victory, I recently began to move toward a long-time goal.  It seems like I no more than got started, and distractions abounded doubts and unwanted thoughts.  At first, I was overwhelmed, even distracted for a bit; then, I realized something.  When we start to move toward something extraordinary, a sure sign that we’re on the right track is thoughts that deal with challenges and blocks that we didn’t even know were there.

Scott Cairns says this, “My new rule: whenever things go wrong, wait and see what better thing is coming.”  It works; if we wait, reaffirm our goals, go easy on ourselves for getting off track, and then see what is coming, something better will indeed come along to move you along your path.

When we work with our kids on the concept of Standing Firm, we help them persevere and use their determination to hold fast until the storm passes.  By realizing that the universe is working on our behalf in ways that we don’t learn, we encourage great things to happen to us.  When we take a stand, we let people know what our non-negotiables involve.

In my book:  Making Sense of Life: A Guidebook for Parents and Kids, Making Sense of Life: A Guidebook for Teens and Parents eBook: Patterson, Rich: Kindle Store, I discuss the importance of role-playing the skill of Standing Firm with your kids. When we help kids with what to say, we move them forward—challenges such as what to say and how to deal with teasing and name-calling.

What are their non-negotiables?  Sex, drugs, alcohol, friends, leaving campus, truancy, cars, dating, prom, and so many other areas to explore with them.  As parents, when we take time to discuss these things when things are calm, we help set the stage for a smooth transition later when kids need to make these decisions.  And they will be faced with them more than likely.  But not to worry, that helps them learn how to stand up to other kids and hold their ground.  If we protect kids to the point where they never encounter these things, they lack skills and become easily distracted and led off course.

Help your kids take a stand regarding their homework and doing other more fun things, take a stand on your morals, take a stand on your conduct standards, then when faced with these distractions; they will know what to do.  Here’s what I know, “When We Stand Firm in our life, we are true to ourselves, which raises our self-esteem, raises our image among our friends, and lets people know that you will not be distracted in those areas.”  I hope that you find this helpful as you raise your kids.

Closely related to Standing Firm is Standing Strong, find the link here Standing Strong – Dr. Rich Patterson (

If you are faith-based, as I am, here is a link to Standing Firm that will help to build your faith Charisma Magazine


Yours for Better Parenting,