Standing Firm

When we start out to do something with great, pure intentions, rest assured that life will try to block us in many ways.  Recently after working on a thought process and having some real victory, I began to move toward a long-time goal.  It seems like I no more than got started and I was bombarded with distractions, doubts, and unwanted thoughts.  At first, I was overwhelmed, even distracted for a bit, then I realized something.  When we start to move toward something great, a sure sign that we’re on the right track is being bombarded with challenges and blocks that we didn’t even know were there.  Scott Cairns says this, “My new rule: whenever things go wrong, wait and see what better thing is coming.”  It works, if we just wait, reaffirm our goals, go easy on ourselves for getting off track, and then see what is coming, something better will indeed come along to move you along your path.

When we work with our kids on the concept of Standing Firm, we help them to persevere, to use their determination to hold fast until the storm passes.  By realizing that the universe is working on our behalf in ways that we don’t realize, we encourage great things to happen to us.  When we take a stand we let people know what our non-negotiables involve.  In my book:  Making Sense of Life: A Guidebook for Parents and Kids, (  I discuss the importance of role-playing the skill of Standing Firm with your kids.  Help them with the language to use, what to say, how to deal with teasing and name-calling that frequently goes along with those that make such a stand.

What are their non-negotiables?  Sex, drugs, alcohol, friends, leaving campus, truancy, cars, dating, prom and so many other areas to explore with them.  As parents, when we take time to discuss these things when things are calm, we help to set the stage for a smooth transition later when kids are faced with these decisions.  And they will be faced with them more than likely.  But not to worry, that helps them learn how to stand up to other kids, how to hold their ground.  If we protect kids to the point where they never encounter these things, then they lack to skills and become easily distracted and led off course.

Help your kids to take a stand regarding their homework and doing other more fun things, take a stand on your morals, take a stand on your personal conduct standards, then when they are faced with these distractions, they will know exactly what to do.  Here’s what I know, “When we Stand Firm in our life, we are true to ourselves, which raises our selt-esteem, raises our image among our friends and lets people know that you will not be distracted in those areas.”  I hope that you find this useful as you raise your own kids.

Yours for Better Parenting,