Connect With Kids – Part 6

Remember that you do not want to debate their answers or give advice when talking with young people.  The purpose is strictly to connect with them and learn how they think about things that you have left behind long ago.  When we take time to communicate without judgment or advice, we add value to the person with whom we’re making a connection.  Just enjoy the time and if the conversation goes in a direction that you’re not comfortable with, thank them and go on your way.  I would also advise not to have any serious discussions or on topics of which they should have only with their parents.  This conversation is meaningful because it avoids the purpose of building an enjoyable relationship with kids.  Just listen to what they say about their favorite music artist or their favorite movie.  Even if you’re not familiar with what they like, participate and ask questions to help them learn the skills of having a conversation with another adult.

I have been writing ten questions with each post, now six, and here are ten more conversation starters.  You can build them from here.

  1. What rules at school do you think are unfair?
  2. What would you implement for rules at school?
  3. What unique qualities does your role model have?
  4. What well-known artist, writer, athlete, musician, or whatever your choice is your role model?
  5. Why are they, good role models?
  6. What are the three most important rules that you follow for your own life?
  7. Why are these the most important?
  8. Do you influence your friends for the better?  Tell me how?
  9. If you could live in another town, what town would it be?  Why?
  10. When you are a parent, what will be the one rule that you will implement?  Why?

These ten questions will help to get conversations started but; prepare for unexpected answers.  You may hear some blunt talk or maybe a few phrases that you’d rather not hear.  Stick with it and if the conversation gets out of hand, excuse yourself and move on.  Enjoy the process, almost all of the time, you will go away feeling better, and you will remember something enjoyable about your childhood that you’ve long forgotten.

Here are the links to the other five Connect With Kids posts, Connect With Kids – Dr. Rich Patterson (; Connect With Kids – Part 2 – Dr. Rich Patterson (; Connect With Kids – Part 3 – Dr. Rich Patterson (; Connect With Kids – Part 4 – Dr. Rich Patterson (; Connect With Kids – Part 5 – Dr. Rich Patterson (

For an outside link, try this post from a mother of four, 15 Powerful Connecting With Kids Daily Steps to a Strong Relationship! (


Yours for Better Parenting,