Dr. Rich Patterson

Parenting on Purpose: Focus on Energy

The voice on the phone said to me, “You’re so positive!”  I thought to myself, wow, she can tell just from one sentence.  She further said that she gets so few positive calls that she immediately could tell that my focus was on the good energy around me.  Isn’t that what we want for ourselves and our kids?  But it isn’t always that easy.  I mean, life has a way of closing in sometimes.  I’m always disappointed in myself when I discover how easy it is for me to allow life to do just that.  I start thinking I should be more Teflon coated than that; I should be more resilient.  Still, there are times when it is just brutal.

It is essential to teach our kids how to get through these times because they will come and don’t leave a calling card.  They destroy us sometimes, and then we usually end up with regrets.  When we start to focus on ourselves, on our surroundings, things can go south on us in a real hurry.  Here’s what I know today:  “Focus on good energy around you and others, rather than your surroundings or current circumstances.”  OK, Rich, but how do you do that?

It is a choice, a mindset that you and I can make.  I have a friend who is an expert at this.  Some time ago, I noticed how great she was at staying in the moment of good energy even when she had plenty of reason to feel otherwise.  When I asked her how she did that, she said, “I just changed the channel.”  Hmm, I thought, that’s too easy, or is it?  Just change the channel, I said.  She said, “Yes, just think of something else.”  I tried it, and it didn’t work very well at first.

After sticking with it, I noticed one day that I had not only changed the channel, I had turned off the TV set completely.  I wasn’t even in that zone of frustration anymore.  It worked!  I was overjoyed.

Today I want to encourage you to focus on the great things in your life and move those regrets, concerns, woes, and negative thoughts out to a higher spiritual plane.  If you are a faith-based person, you know how you like to do that; if you’re, do not worry.  You can visually move it to a visual picture.  It may be a mountain lake or a favorite place you’ve visited, or let a color overcome it.  I like to use a deep blue as it works very well with my closed-eyes visual.

I discuss this in my book pictured here and available from Amazon or your favorite bookseller. 

The link is Making Sense of Life: A Guidebook for Teens and Parents: Patterson, Rich: 9781627875011: Books.

To continue in this series, click here for another great post, Parenting on Purpose: Display Your Personal Best – Dr. Rich Patterson (


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Yours for better parenting,