The Magic Four: Poise & Self-Confidence

I have been writing about the Magic Four qualities that produce success in our lives.  They all must be present and consistently applied to attain high-level goals in our life. Specific goals take actual dedication and consistency.  The previous two postings speak about Persistence and the second about Determination.  Today I would like to address Poise and Self-Confidence. The young man in this photo exhibits poise, along with other traits such as Determination and self-confidence.  Poise is what first came to my mind when I viewed his photo.  What is poise?

When a person stands such as this man is, we see a certain gracefulness and elegance to his posture. Poise shows every time we stand, walk, stop, glance, and sit down in a chair.  It is how we hold ourselves, and it is much different than conceit or over-confidence.  Poise is how we carry ourselves, and it can be learned — being conscious of standing on both feet, showing our alertness and energy, even when we may not feel like it. So our physical display is a part of having poise, but so is practicing self-control.  When others are rude or insult us, we also have the opportunity to display stability by responding in a controlled manner, even though we may feel like doing otherwise.  It is not okay to say, “Well, they treated me with disrespect, so I just gave it back to them.”  No, because you are playing their game then.  Step up a notch with your behavior and respond with poise by asking a question.  Ask yourself if you’re willing to lose your self-control or not?  If not, choose to step back and choose your response based on restraint.

The last of the Magic Four is Self-Confidence.  We have all met people that immediately show us that they are very self-confident.  We often see it as an attribute, but it is an attitude.  We have control over our philosophy.  When someone thinks of you, they will not remember your accomplishments, but they will remember your attitude.  When we choose to display a positive attitude, we are showing self-confidence.  People around you will quickly pick up on your self-confidence.  When you are willing to pause rather than complain, when you ask a question when others are ready to say, “That won’t work” or “That’s just plain stupid,” we show our self-confidence.  It is in everyday situations when we choose our behaviors carefully that we deliver self-confidence.  When we display a lack of understanding of self-confidence, then others around us quickly lose respect and faith in our abilities.

I want to challenge everyone today to finish the Magic Four by taking a closer look at Poise and Self-Confidence and how you display it in your life.  The Magic Four will make a big difference in your success, how others see you, and your results.  They are Persistence, Determination, Poise, and Self-Confidence.  Best of luck in applying these in your life.  Please leave me some of your thoughts.

The first blog in this series is linked here for your reference The Magic Four – Dr. Rich Patterson (

Following is a link to a beautiful post on Poise and Self-Confidence for your reading Building Self Confidence And Personal Poise (


Yours for a Better Life,