5 Phases of Parenting – Phase 5

We have been discussing the 5 Phases of Parenting which briefly are, 1) I don’t know what I don’t know, 2) I know at least that I need to know, 3) I know what I need to know, 4) You know and it starts to show, and today is  5) You move confidently because of what you know.

When I first started teaching I knew what the College of Education thought I should know, my grades were solid, but after I signed that contract, my entire education came flashing before my eyes.  I mean all the classes that I thought I should have studied harder came rushing into my head.  It was then that you wonder if you made the right choice.  But move ahead I did and after teaching for a couple of years, I felt confident because of what I had learned in college and now what I had applied on the job.

As a parent, once you have moved into parenting a ways you begin to know your child, better than anyone and also you know what works with various parenting styles.  That is until, your child becomes an adolescent–then it seems like your child came from another planet.  That’s why I wrote my book, Making Sense of Life: A Guidebook for Teens and Parents.  I discuss many of the key issues and at the end of each chapter is a chance for you to reflect on some questions I have created for parents and also a set for the kids.  Once you start to remember some of the successes and struggles from your own life you will start to help your child because of what you know.

When we know something because of experience and guidance that we have received we make decisions easily, promptly and without second-guessing ourselves.  Even when there is resistance, we still move confidently.  Take a topic like popularity–something we struggled with and so do many kids as well.  How did you handle it?  With the knowledge you have now from those situations what strengthening statements can you share with your child that they might use.  In this example you begin to help them with something that can be difficult and move in such a way that you have confidence.

These 5 Phases of Parenting are meant to help you as a parent see a bigger picture as you move through various the various phases.  Now, some of these overlap with each others and depending on the age grouping the child is in currently, you may even move back to a previous phase for a short time.  But then you’re back at Phase 5 in a much shorter time.

Yours for Better Parenting,